0-2 year olds

Will not understand about dying but will be aware and unsettled due to day to day changes in their lives.

2-5 year olds

Have difficulties understanding what death is, and the fact that their parent will be gone forever

Take things literally so will be easily confused when told things like ‘gone to sleep’ rather than ‘died’

May believe they have caused the illness, or death with thoughts or behaviour. This is called magical thinking

May believe they can wish person to get better or come back once died

5-8 year olds

Can feel guilty about thinking they caused the illness or death

Start to understand that death is permanent (around 7 years old) and can happen to anyone

Begin to realise that dead people are different from those who are alive, that they do not feel, hear, see, smell or speak

Likely to be incredibly interested in the rituals around death, and ask lots of questions

8-12 year olds

Understanding of death is almost similar to adults so are often shocked by news of illness or death

Understand the implication of illness and permanence of death

Try to make sense of what has happened, or is happening, by wanting to know details and asking specific questions

Begin to become aware of their own mortality which can result in fear and insecurity

Teenagers

Understand the permanence of death and that a serious illness may result in death

May begin to ask biological and spiritual questions about illness or death