Helping your child

Children need a safe place to express their emotions and grief, and different opportunities to do this.

Being left alone with big feelings and thoughts can be very hard for them.

Practical support

  • 1. Stick to routines

    Try to stick to routines and boundaries as much as possible. It helps children feel secure, and it helps them manage their own expectations.

    Explore: Daily Timetable; Your Sleeping Brain

  • 2. Ask them to help

    Inviting your child to help with caring or doing chores can make them feel included and part of the family. But don’t over burden them and check that they are OK to do these things.

    Explore: Help Around The House

  • 3. Support network

    Create and write down a network for your children that includes all the people who will support them.

    Explore: My Paperchain People

  • 4. Peer support

    Find a group run by the local hospice, or children's bereavement charity that connects children who have similar experiences. Some children bereavement charity websites have special chat spaces for children to leave messages on.

  • 5. Community support

    Talk with your child and ask them who they would like to know: their school, sports and club groups, church leaders etc so people are aware of the situation.

    Explore: School Support Card; My Feelings at School Chart

  • 6. Provide information

    Give your children age-appropriate information about your illness and your prognosis. This will help them understand why you are sick, and that it is not their fault.

    See resource section

Emotional  support

 

  • Give them time out from what is happening by letting them play, and interact with their friends

    Explore the activities: A Massive Plaster; A Card for a Good Friend

  • Provide a safe space for them to express their feelings and worries, and to ask questions. For example, an angry outburst can be a chance to find out what’s going on so try not to shut their response down.

    Explore the activities: Scream & Shout Box; Angry & Mad Box; My Grief Den; Breathing & Balancing

  • Create opportunities for sharing thoughts whilst being together, for example Lego building, colouring in, or jigsaw puzzles. Children tend to talk when they do not feel under pressure to do so.

    Explore the activities: Share a Feeling; Where Does it Hurt?; Worry Box; Worry Chatterbox

  • Doing simple activities together will bring a closeness that will comfort your child. Anything from watching films, reading together, making art or sharing your stories about your own life. Pick some activities from this kit.

    Explore the activities: A Mobile of Someone Special; The Family Flag & Motto; Create a Family Story; A Letter to Mum or Dad; Create a Family Story